O Deus Ego Amo Te

 O Deus Ego Amo Te means O God I Love you.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ― Siddharta Gautama

I remember the time when I stubbornly clinging to the past and unable to let go of beautiful memories which was one of the happiest I’ve ever had.I also remember the time when I ferociously desire the perfect picture of a future that I long for.I remember the time when I forgot to be thankful of the present moment because the ghost from the past lurking in the dark corner of my heart.And I remember those time, when I forgot to embrace the beauty of the present because I’m eaten by anxiety of what’s the future going to bring.I am not at ease, I’m in continual state of restlessness.

How long has it been since I take a really good sip from my morning or late-night coffee and discern the sweet, yet bitter taste of it? Since I thoroughly taste the delicate combination of three tablespoon of creamer and two teaspoon of sugar along with a black strong coffee?
How long has it been since I take a really good look of an exquisite light coming from the morning and evening sun? Since I sentimentally look at the glimmering ray that remind me of a beautiful creation of God?

How long has it been since I forgotten the beauty of the current moment? The vague ray of sun coming through my bedroom window, the combination of cinnamon scent and my perfume inside my car, the variety of songs I could listen to while idling in my bed, the exhilirating hour of my late-night drive to Primanet, the realization of fact that I’m pursuing my dream major in my dream city (yes, Yogyakarta is my dream city although I complain a hell lot about it).

Today is Wednesday, March 2oth 2013.
Yogyakarta was awfully hot and humid this afternoon, and I was drenched in sweat.But I am weirdly happy.A kind of happiness where I’m not worrying about the future, nor having the past haunting me, but the kind of happiness that bring consciousness of what a lucky kid I have been so far.A realization of the current moment, a moment of sudden perspicuity.

I do not know whether I can guarantee that I can be happy go lucky for the rest of my life or whether I am not going to whine and complain here and there.But I do know that I want to learn to focus in the present moment in order to push away all the anxiety that’s holding me back.I do know, the wheel of life will keep on spinning and the key to an inner peace and happiness for me is...to focus in the present, embrace any kind of emotions that come, never try to deny the calling of the universe, and.. to live, to seize the day.

PS:
To love you as I love you today.
To take you as you are today.
And to embrace the feeling as it is today.

“A few times in my life I’ve had moments of absolute clarity. When for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. It’s as though it had all just come into existence. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be.” ― Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man
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