What Does It Means to Have a Supportive Partner and Being Supportive in Relationship.

“It's because of you when I'm in bed in

Jakarta has been pouring a heavy load of rains that week. It bathed the city with an overwhelming sense of sorrow, as if the city wasn’t wretched enough. That night was another dreary night on Jakarta’s somber rainy season. It was nearly 8 o’clock and I was lounging around by the fishing pond on my office. I checked my phone once again to see whether you’ve replied to my Whatsapp messages. You were online just a few minutes ago but my messages were still left unanswered. Being the possessive, dominating, and control freak that I am, I quickly reached out to your name in my contact and call you. My anxiety quickly being washed away by your exhausted voice in the end of the receiver and yet I still berated you and complained why on earth you didn’t answer my messages when you were just online a few minutes ago. However,  I couldn’t help but to tell by the weak voice and subtle sigh that you must’ve been exhausted and after a while I finally softened hearing your worrisome voice.

You were still in a coffee shop near your office and in an unlikely circumstances you told me that you’re still going to be there until quite late. Not wanting to leave you alone, I quickly ordered an Uber and headed your way to accompany you.

Passing to the congested street of Jakarta, my thought began to wander.  I was worried over your new job because usually it would be me in your position, staying up late in a coffee shop, struggling and drowning myself in an endless emails, cigarettes, and coffee.

When I finally arrived at the coffee shop, I found you with a stacks of paper in one side and a neglected peach ice tea with the ice already melted from being untouched. Your eyes were focusing on the tiny laptop in front of you and I can’t help but to smile seeing your intense gaze on the laptop with your perfectly-done eyebrows squeezing making you look like an unhappy little kid who was being told to eat a vegetable that you don’t like. You smiled meekly as I approached you and I took a sit across you.

Your eyes were still glued to your laptop, an uncanny moment because it used to be me who stared at the laptop while you waited for me with a cup of too sweet Latte by your side. To be honest, I liked this view much better. When you concentrated in your work and I would be sitting across you watching your every move. I love the way you squint your eyes  over something you find ludicrous in whatever it is that you’re working on and I even love the way you grunted over your load of works.

I remembered we both accompanied each other for our job interview and eventually you landed the job and so was I. Ever since we graduated, we took a different path of career. You choose to pursue and learn about public relations (PR) and at first, I choose to pursue a career in a non-profit organization/non-government organization before I finally went 180′  and turn my path to digital marketing and advertising.

I was never interested in PR and yet I could see how passionate and willing you are to explore that area and for me it was enough spirit to keeps me alive about my own passion. Your passion and your relentless pursuit in working encourage me to become a better version of myself and not to take my job for granted.

Life has become increasingly harder after we graduated and if you and your incessant positive upbringing wasn’t around, I probably become the stereotypical Jakartans; bitter, miserable, with a constant complains because I feel entitled to a  higher standard of living.

But you’re always around, listening patiently to my constant complains about my work life  and reminded me to keep being grateful no matter how horrible the circumstances were.

Exactly two weeks after we met at the coffee shop, you came back with an extremely good news that you were accepted into a very great company, and with a good offer. I was ecstatic because you finally got the kind of job that you deserves for a person whose as smart, hardworking, and tactical as you. When you mentioned how much salary you would get, I couldn’t help but to feel dejected though. Finally, it came to where I felt I was left behind and being left behind by my significant other whom I wish to inspire was a very unpleasant feeling. Despite my incessant whining of how I felt left behind and how I felt I was a disappointment to you, your genuine consolation eventually eased my inane anxiety.

You’ve been extremely supportive and kind for these past two years and I feel grateful everyday for God has given me the chance to grow up with a person like you.

Now let me tell a brief story about how wonderful it is to have a supportive partner like mine. My dear, kind, loving partner is one of the most supportive person I’ve ever encounter in which I’ve learnt a great deal about being supportive relationship. I learnt that a supportive partner doesn’t succumb to the perfect idea which we painted unrealistically. It is humane to idolized our significant other, and yet that very idea is indefinitely lethal for we will have an unhealthy expectation of that person. We’re inclined to fail to understand that they have their own idea, passion, vision, and view of life and it’s not necessary for us to share a similar point of view, rather what’s necessary is to support each other path as long as it makes them happy and beneficial for them. Being supportive means standing beside us when we need them, and always be ready in the background in case we fall, but they keep us roam free, always giving us the space we need to grow as a person.

A supportive partner will not judge us for our silly dreams when other laughed at us for our over-the-moon dreams and hopes. They will not sneer or sarcastically commented on our decisions when we chose something that contradict our previous statement. And most important of all, a supportive partner will see us as we truly are. A supportive partner will see a shining, bright, glimmering star when others only see a faint light in a dark sky. A supportive partner will see in us as we bare naked in our soul with all of our darkness and faults.

A truly supportive partner will see us for the person we are now with them and the awe-inspiring person they know we are truly capable of becoming, even if we, ourselves, are not capable to see it yet.

My partner has been all the above: supported me when I struggled with my thesis, my inadequacy in my previous job, my personal conflictual battle with my current job. All those helpless moments and yet my partner still sees me as someone who are capable to become a great person and for that I’m incredibly thankful.

Now it’s up to me? Have I been supportive enough? Have you been supportive enough to your significant other?

I’m still learning but I hope I will continue to be a supportive partner who encourages my significant other to become a better person for there’s nothing more comforting than having a thoughtful companion who supports us and loves us in our relentless pursuit of happiness.

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3 thoughts on “What Does It Means to Have a Supportive Partner and Being Supportive in Relationship.

  1. Am pretty sure that you are also the supportive one, but MAYBE if I may take my self as an example, the thing is we keep doubting the adequacy of our effort in order to be a supportive partner, padaha; giving out the best of us doesn’t necessary made us lose our self esteem. Anw I love reading your writing, keep posting 🙂

    1. Hi! Thank you for dropping by and put some effort to dropped a comment. I’m still learning to be more supportive because at the core of my character, I’m actually very selfish and more on the dominant side thus sometimes I failed to listen, thoroughly listen, to my significant other’s needs. I really love your writing as well! Looking forward for more postings from you.

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